EMPTY NEST SYNDROME: when the house is suddenly emptyEmpty Nest Syndrome (ENS) ENS often comes around mid-life, when parents already have a lot of other issues to deal/cope with - such as mid-life crisis and Menopause Anyone who has ever been faced with either an unruly teenager or a suddenly empty house would tell you that you better enjoy your kids while they are still younger. While most young mothers can't wait for the kids to grow up and become independent, many more wish they could invite their mature children back into the house and start all over again - I mean with nappies and all.
Empty Nest Syndrome or ENS is a term that is used to describe the grief, brought about by the emptiness and loneliness that many parents, especially mothers, feel when their children have to move out of the family home. This is most commonly experienced when a child who has lived at home until high school, has to move out to further their studies in an institution that is a bit far from home. How does an empty nest affect parents?Psychologists warn that there is no faster way of dealing with the syndrome and that sufferers must give themselves time to recover from the 'shock' of having to let go of their kids. This can take anything from about 6 months to upto 24 months. Different parents deal with ENS differently. Some better than others. There are a number of signs to look out for, in order to check whether or not you are coping. You should seek psychological help if: 1. You are depressed, 2. You constantly demand that your kids call you several times a day, 3 You call them several times a day, 4. If you've lost your life's purpose / meaning and you don't know how to carry on. You can prepare for the emptinessEmpty Nest SyndromePrepare for when the kids finally leave home/move out1. Make an effort to discover and know yourself, your partner, and your passions. 2. Prepare well in advance. Learn as much as possible about the syndrome and talk to people who have already experienced it. Your own parents are a good starting point. Read relevant books. 3. For those who are still starting on their parental journey, try and find other things that interest you even while your kids are still small.Do not completely define yourself by your kids. Love your family; be the best parent you can be, but don't ever lose yourself in the process. 4. If you are already experiencing Empty-Nest-Syndrome, talk about it, learn and remind yourself of all the wonderful things you wanted to do but couldn't because the kids were demanding a lot of attention. 5. Remember to seek help if your kids start to feel that they cannot cope with your expectations and your demands on their time and attention.
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